Used to know
by wimsicalpan
Summary: "You had a gorram time bomb living with us! Who we gonna find in there when she wakes up? The girl? Or the weapon?" Simon used to know, not anymore.


"You had a gorram time bomb living with us! Who we gonna find in there when she wakes up? The girl? Or the weapon?" Simon used to know, not anymore. He isn't sure it's even safe for him.

* * *

Used to know

Back when he was twelve he remembered going to watch his little sister, River, at the age of five, dance in her class' production as the main lead. For her age, her skills and talent outstanded him and by the end of the play he found himself on his feet and clapping, just to join in with everyone else.

The next year his sister enrolled in ballet classes and he found it a pain that he was the one asked to take her to lessons and pick her up. It was embarrassing that he was an intelligent young teen with a promising future who's little sister insisted he be the one to accompany her to ballet, of all the classes it had to be ballet.

Halfway through the first term he tried to convince her to go into the junior science club or maybe the chess club; she could beat him at the game in so few moves he was still in denial many years later.

She was adamant that it was ballet and he put up with it.

Then came the production and he paled at the thought of having to sit through a whole recital of boys and girls in tights and leotards, prancing around a stage.

He had a date that night.

But River only had to cry, let one tear slip and he was begging his girlfriend to go with him to watch his little sister perform in the pride and joy of her life. She relented, muttering that it was the one and only time she would.

An hour later and they were sat in the second row, watching as the curtain was pulled up and the first song came through.

He found himself glued to the performance, the story lost on him from the start.

What really drew him was the look on his sister's face; the cheek splitting grin and the stupid grin she couldn't wipe off.

When the curtain drew to a close and he was allowed backstage, he openly embraced his sister's gleeful jump into his arm's, mouth going at a mile a minute about the performance and how it was amazing. He smiled, nodded at the right moment's and said his own words of comfort, "Yeah, it was amazing. You're a great dancer."

That night she was offered a place in the senior ballet class, where so few others of her age were situated. She didn't hesitate to say yes and Simon couldn't help but grin at her love for dancing.

Years later, their parents tried to force out of the lessons by telling her it simply was wiser to focus on academics and not prances that were not useful out in the real world. They pulled her out of the class and enrolled her in three other classes.

Months passed and Simon could tell his sister was getting more and more miserable. On more then one occasion he had spotted her outside the dancing rooms, watching as the people moved about in graceful twirls and elegant arches.

With a frown he skulked away to the school's library and searched the cortex until closing time almost two hours later.

He didn't care that he was being kicked out.

He had what he wanted, what he knew made River who she is.

Inside their house that night, he pulled out a few scraps of paper and clutched them tightly, still unsure if his parents were in the house. What they would do if they knew what he was doing he pushed to the back of his mind and swallowed the lump in his throat.

Sure, River was a gifted child who outsmarted even him. He knew that and knew what they wanted from her. But it should've been up to her what she should be doing in her free time.

Shaking his head he pushed up from his bed and stepped out into the hallway and scurried off to find her room. He knocked, quickly entered and shut the door behind him.

Turning around he smiled at the music that filled the air. "River, I want to show you something."

She nodded and turned the music off. "Yes Simon?"

He smiled sheepishly and pulled her to sit down on her fluffed bed. "River, I-" he sighed and pushed the papers into her hands. "Here, choose one."

It took a moment for her to recognise what he was handing her, but when she did a grin broke out and she giggled, threw her arms around his neck and repeated the word "Yes, yes, yes," in his ear. He laughed at her giddiness and waited as she trawled through the few small pieces of paper and trusted one at him. "That one. I want to go there. Can I go to that one?"

He smiled and nodded, "Yeah. Sure. I'll book you an audition okay?"

She nodded enthusiastically and threw her arms around his neck again. "Thank you Simon."

He hugged her back and said, "Your welcome. Just, don't tell Mom and Dad."

She grinned back, "Of course dummy. Our secret." When she pulled her arms away she was still grinning.

He smiled and nodded his head again. Lifting a finger he tapped her nose, "Our secret," which earned another giggle and another round of hugging.

That night, he slept like a baby.

As he looks back on those years he smiles grimly. It was so easy for him to figure out what his sister needed or wanted. If she was quiet, she needed something to entertain her. If she wasn't doing her homework, she needed to be challenged. He remembered how easy to was to copy one of his questions out and hand it over to her, watching as she solved it faster then he did.

It used to be so easy for him.

Now it isn't.

Ever since she went to the Academy he hasn't been able to figure out what she needs or wants. Nothing she did made much sense and the only thing he knew was that she still loved to dance.

But that was it.

His sister was a stranger to him and he felt like he was losing her all over again.

* * *

With a sigh he trawls through the small box of bits and bobs in the crate in the grimy store. They're on another back water planet and in another back water town.

Then his hand brushes against something cold and sharp. Pulling it out he smiles at what he recognises and smiles. Without a second thought he buys it and has it wrapped up in grotty paper with pink ribbons.

"You had a gorram time bomb living with us! Who we gonna find in there when she wakes up? The girl? Or the weapon?"

As the Captain stares him down he can't help but worry himself. He isn't sure himself but as a Doctor, as a _brother_ he can't say that. "I thought she was getting better."

When he gets a chance to be alone with her he thinks back to when he was twelve and she was five. He thinks back to the dance recitals she loved and that grotty paper wrapped present with pink ribbons comes to mind.

When they get a chance alone, after Miranda and Mr Universe's moon, he hands it to her as an early birthday present, watching with glee as she pulls out a capture of a ballet performance, music included. She runs off through the ship to show Kaylee and he knows that for now, he's happy with the girl that he knows how to find.

He'll worry about the weapon another day.


End file.
